onsdag den 24. marts 2010

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

...

And so is dickheaddery.

This rant is brought to you by a very happy post by Tam of Rightious orbs. In a very happy post, he talks about finding the right guild for him (or so it seems, dum dum DUUUUUUM - he is very aware that he has said this before).
Anyway apart from making the best ever analogy over what raiding is, he in a bynote talks about two types of players.
Person A: I want to raid, therefore I will put with a degree of shit.
Person B: I would rather not raid than put up with a degree of shit.
(himself being person B).
I myself - and this should not come as a shock, is very much a person A.
I have, and I will put up with sh*t to raid. Because, unlike one of his commenters, I know myself and the world around me, well enough to realise that in any team sport, there will be people you have a lot in common with, and some who does weird things, that you do not consider being "super kewl".

For example, I tend to overfocus on one aspect on any given encounter, and mess something up. That is not a great quality in a tank. One of our dps likes to sleep in, that is not a very good quality when you raid in the weekend mornings.
And one of our healers does like to... Well I've got no idea what she does tbh. She does like to get summoned, thats for sure. I remember one time, when she, didn't come back after a raidbreak (lunch). and we found out the next day that she had decided to take 5 mins of nap-time on the couch and had fallen asleep.
I know this is in the tiny-non-existent-part of complaining. But when you are pumped up about a new boss, this can really be annoying. Or when one of our trials hunters didn't turn up for a raid AND STILL HAS NOT SAID ANY FUCKING THING ABOUT WHY NOT - you do feel like this person is shitting all over the rest of your raidgroup.
But you deal with it. You get over peoples little quirks and move on. This is some little innocent things that some would consider shit you deal with in order to raid.

If someone in guild-chat had made some inappropriate comments about his girlfriend. I would tell him off, but I wouldn't leave guild. If someone made an gay joke, I would report him, and tell him i've done so (I did that once).  But I wouldn't leave my guild over it. Or make an issue over it demanding him kicked or I would go.
The two day ban, was punishment enough, at least in my book, and he never did make another joke like that.

The point is, when you have a large group of people connected by a similar goal  of wanting to raid in a certain pase (and not even that common a goal, some just do it for the social parts, some for gear, some for progression, and some for something to do with their evenings), you have to expect that people will not be able to be bf4evar!! -till the end of the universe.
It just is not how people work. Healers will have their own sub-group where they discuss stuff. So will tanks. So will -some- ranged, and so will the dutch people (or in Ensidias case their infamous "danish mafia").
You do not have to loooooove every single person you raid with, but liking them all sure does help.
At the moment, I do not have anyone in my guild that is /sigh at when I see them online. That, for me, equals happy times.
I mean, in any group of people thrown together by semi-accident, you will find someone you do not click with. School class, sport club, the stamp-collectors union, your workplace. If you expect to go through life only dealing with people you love all the time, anytime. You are going to find yourself pretty lonely sooner or later. That is just how people work. Or rather, unless you live in "the great order of the amazing moongoddess Phils movementarians group". THEN you will love everyone, all the time.

What I'm getting at, is that just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is Dickeadery. What you might consider being unacceptable behavior in a guild-setting, i'll bet you that many others will consider cool. Spending all day in /g telling "yo mama" jokes? I'd leave, but I'm pretty sure plenty would
find that to be a guild where "we have lots of fun in an relaxed atmosphere". So unnammed commenter on Tams blog: you are either dumb or very naive, when you claim that is it the person A, that is the problem.

If we all had the "person B" personality and would kick every single dickhead in guild. We would run out of guild members. Because we are all different and unique snowflakes (we *are*), we will not always agree on what is fun and great behaviour. So deal with Dickhead behaviour in your guild. Let them bow off steam. And if the generel vibe of the guild and most people there are cool, behold: you will be very happy in your guild.

Because small or big, we do have to deal with degrees of shit in order to be in a team, doing team-stuff. Deal with it.
And no, you do not have to deal with any more or any less sh*t the higher up the progression ladder you are. There are cool guilds and there are complete sh*t guilds at all levels of this game. Some guilds the atmosphere is to beat on your fellow guildie in order to build yourself up.
- For example if you build a guild around pvp, where you gank low levels of the opposite faction. And THEN after having your guildies beat you up when you log into your scam horde auctioneer alt, only to belittle said guildies (that only did what they where told), on your blog. - That would be an unpleasent atmosphere, and the tell tell signs of a sucky guild with a horrible guild leader.

10 kommentarer:

  1. Hm... that last little comment was a bit nasty, wasn't it? ;)

    When it comes to me I think I'm sort of both. My main guild gives me my A-type game. I haven't got a ton of friends and I feel pretty lonely at times, but I get good raiding most of the time and I'm a sucker for that.

    But I also have a B-person in me who wants to hang out and do silly casual stuff and just... well relax you know. Time will show how long SAN will last, but that kind of setting can give me that sort of gameplay. Which I also like.

    Unlike in RL you can have several spouses in wow. It took me quite a while to get to that point but I'm glad I finally did.

    SvarSlet
  2. I think I spent quite a lot of time in the post in question explaining that I knew I was an intolerant son of a bitch and I didn't get to be the galactic arbiter of dickheadliness. However, I think you're right, and I tend write things over-sweepingly. I didn't mean those cute little (bloody annoying) flaws that make up every human being, I mean persistent, on-going, unchecked arsehole-ish, running wild through your guild. I mean as much as you acknowledge that human beings are complex and capable of great goodness and great annoyness, there are some people who are just valueless morons.

    I think ultimately the issue lies on the general value system in place in your guild - whether, as a guild, you react strongly / negatively to anti-social behaviour in guild chat or whether you let it go because raiding is more important and 5% of you find rape jokes really funny lol.

    It's possible I'm just a horrendous priss of course :P

    SvarSlet
  3. Yes it was very nasty, some people bring out the worst in me. (But was it untrue?)

    I guess you are right, for me I get both from my current guild. Sure there are a lot of people in there I don't have anything in common with, I think that is natural - and that is sort of my point too.

    SvarSlet
  4. (first was @lar)
    @Tam: please do note that what brought this rant was not your post per se, but one of your commentors who suggested that you needed guilds that actively kicked "arsehole" in guild. And that struck me as so incredibly stupid since who would you have judging what is dick-behavior and what is not???

    BTW what do you do after you finished raping your baby sister? -Bury her again!

    ...what?

    SvarSlet
  5. ... No, i don't have a sister, would that make it funnier? You guys are sick.

    SvarSlet
  6. The question is how you definie "shit" to put up with. What exactly is it?

    Like Tam I wouldn't endure daft comments that are rasist, anti-homosexual or anything like that. But I can deal with that my raiding guild doesn't fill all every need I have on the game, but that it gives me good raiding, and that's what I want from the game. I honestly don't think there is such a thing as a "perfect" guild, which caters for the players who are both A and B.

    SvarSlet
  7. Perhaps it is just a matter of what constitutes shit.
    If you are in a guild where you do not agree with everything being said at all times, isn't that putting up with some degree of sh*t?
    Being in a guild where people do nothing but ridicule each-other in a mean-spirited demeaning way, isn't that putting up with a degree of shit?

    Maybe thats the point of it all. Dealing with people you simply cannot stand being around - just for progression, if that is the point Tam tried to make, Then I cannot think of anyone who would do that. Only someone with such a low selfesteem that they think that they are the ones who are the problem.
    If one of my guildies ended up turning into a the biggest dick in the world, because he found out that I was a black and gay, would I stay with my guild?


    Well yes, because he would get kicked... But what if he didn't? What if it wasn't me, but he found out that Calli ( a guildie of mine) was an overweight white trash single mom of three, and he decided to pick on him in guild at every chance he got, what then?
    maybe that is a silly thing for me to discuss, since in my mind, I cannot imagine anyone ever wanting to be around a guy like that.

    So maybe I did misunderstand the intention of Tam. Maybe I thought that the issues where the minor things, when you aren't thrilled to share a guild-tag with someone, because they are not similar to you. And not "this guy is not really what anyone would constitute a human being" type of horrible person.
    In that aspect I think we are all B-people. I hope we all are.
    If it is a matter of the first bit, then I honestly think that we are all A-people. We put up with stuff every day that we do not like. People that don't are classified with a mental disease disorder.

    SvarSlet
  8. Dickery is in the eye of the beholder I agree.
    I am new to the blogging community. I have been reading voraciously, especially the last couple of weeks and have been quiet on what I term the “blogger war” that dealt with a writers dislike for certain types of rp and the response from a blogger that didn’t like the 1st persons blog and then ALL the stuff that followed. It almost scared me off blogging about anything but fluff. What does this have to do with this blog, you might ask? Who am I to butt into this seemingly private/public realm? Nobody. I am type A about being type B. The A part of me wants to win, to stay alive, to be useful, the B part of me wants to be pleasant and loveable. So when someone yells and curses about Marrowgar’s bones spiking him and NO-ONE is GETTING them OFF him “YOU SLOW MORONS” …that is a cry “HELP! I can’t do this by myself and I’M FRUSTRATED!” and I get all like emo and qq and omg he’s yelling and I just can’t take this anymore!!! I am the one being dickish IMHO. YET, there are people that are valueless morons and I can remove myself from their company; however, that does not make me more correct than they are, it just means I aspire to a more genteel sort of asshattery. All in all, what do we aspire to? What standard are we looking at for behavior (I really want to put a “u” in that word) in word or deed? Is the standard set by the “majority”? Is the standard set by how we “feel” at any given moment? If so, is how we feel about something more valuable that how the dickish person feels? Why? Yes, I would leave a guild full of asshats because I would not fit there. And they would be glad to be rid of a “stiff self righteous” pr**c*. The thinking process here leaves me with a bit more patience I think. At the very least, If I felt totally uncomfortable with a group of folks I would quietly slip away – and they would not miss me. Like almost every human on the planet though I need to find my community. I need folk around me that aspire to the same ideals and hold to certain rules of conduct toward one another. Finding a good fit for me in the guild community of WOW is very much cause for celebration!!! And I do NOT want anyone to mess it up. Part of being a cohesive community though seems to be the freedom to point fingers at other communities that are unlike ours. LOL. It’s all part of who we are, how the asshats fit our heads. And how this process fits with the blogging community is clear, “we blog like this, they blog like that. Oh My!”

    SvarSlet
  9. Did I just get outranted?
    loved it :)

    I think there is so much truth in that (and I would put a u in that word too) you've written above me.
    I doubt I can add anything to what you've added. That was great.

    SvarSlet
  10. Are you being sarcastic? Cause if you are, /smackwithasshat

    SvarSlet