These stories needs to be told (also at the end, more fail PuG stories)
There was the story of the imbahunter, who used MD on himself on mobs that I had not picked up, then adding "i will try and dps less on the next pack so you can get aggro". How about you just frikking shoot at the right adds? And a little extra tip from me to you: when you fight General Bjarngrim it really helps if you gun down the adds first... you know, like the tank tanking them told you to.
It was the same hunter who -or so he told- had a healing alt "so i know how to heal", so he didn't need a healer and a tank telling him when the healer needed mana, before he was allowed to pull the next mobs... or bosses. 15% mana is plenty for a Disc priest it seems.
Then there was the glorious paladin. I loved this guy. I really truly did. He was the 5th dps in our otherwise guild-dungeon run. He turned up in tanking trinkets, +spellpower shoulders and a magnificent weapon to boot: Cleaver of Diligence (I believe it was, it was green and no higher ilvl than 170). Now that was all fine and dandy. (well not really, he was clearly using his trinkets and shoulder items to boost his ilvl stat and get in a better group). The best part of this group was a number of little things that added up to great comedic heights.
- He was not very old, or not very good at english. Or both.
- our tank was played by an alt of our perfectionist raid leader (lets call that alt "britney")
- He was a horrible player.
First off, he never typed anything when we started the run. And we tried. We tried greeting, making some jabs at eachother to lighten the mood (imo running with 4 guys who clearly know eachother can be quite intimidating, so we tried to make him feel welcome), but he wasn't biting. He just spend 5 seconds looking at a fight, then running in and hitting some mobs as they where about to die. This happened for 3 pulls. Then I tried to get him to a) change aura to something other than the "pala-travel-fast" one. He did not.
Then I tried to get him to buff people. He did not, well, not until our forementioned raidleader tanking alt told him to buff, then *he* got might. Nothing for the rest of us.
At this time /g chat was filled with "look at this item" "now whats he doing". But we carried on. then he started pulling more mob-packs. At this time 'Britney' had had enough.
"why did you pull that pack mr ret?" He asked.
"why are you not buffing the rest" He asked again
"Hello, are you able to speak at all" At this time i was still lost in his gemming choices.
Then an answer came.
"Hello! gogog" Was all he said, as he went for the next pack.
I think something inside Britney broke then. A quick vote-to-kick was insued, and a deathknight guildie alt took his place, and the rest was history.
I still smile whenever I think of his response. Especcially considering the first of my link list to other fail-pug stories.