So saturday night, after a great fun guild raid to Ulduar with the alt/semi-retired/parent raid group (aka team daddy), where I helped out on my priest on their first night at yogg (halfway through p2 AND in 4 pulls had p1 totally under control... amazing). I logged onto my gnome Lock, still at level 22.
I gave a deep /sigh, then mailed her gold and Heirloom shoulders to another alt, logged out and... deleted her.
Many factors played into this. Leffe was one, I won't deny that. The thought of possibly maybe getting to play worgen and needing a free char slot, was another (again, thinking that id need to free a slot up *now* for that, might have something to do with the Leffe aswell ^^) but mostly Dreamreaper had just been a cause for guilt. Whenever I logged onto wow, id see her cheery little face, with a big blue guy behind her, almost begging me to log on and play with her (damn dirty gnomes). And I never did. Leveling in outland on my other toons, grinding on my dk or just attempting to play the AH all seemed much more appealing.
So id see her little face in the character selection window, smiling waiting.. And I knew, I just knew she blamed me. Blamed me for abandoning her, for letting her gather dust.
Sure the smile was the same, the slow shifting of weight from one leg to the other that gnomes always do, was still there. But the sparkle in her eyes where gone. And all that was left was pure hatred. hell does indeed hath no fury like a woman scorn.
So there I was with Tom Waits blasting "dirt in the ground" in my ears, her looking at me, the Leffe in full effect, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I logged in. Typed /played (16 hours and change) mailed the stuff, logged out and clicked DELETE.
Gone where the broken promises, the dreams of glory. Of me and her together, blasting in the back. Dotting our enemies up, while id have time to stay on top of the situation. No more tanking panic, no more healing frenzy. This time It would be different. This time id have control. This time my contribution over Teamspeak would not any longer be just "FFS dont... I have him....heal" I would have been in control, able to test my meddle as a group leader (something i've toyed with before, you dont raid as a tank and as a healer and not have dreams of trying to be a party/raid leader). All those promises and dreams she promised and I never fulfilled, all that guilt, ended on that DELETE.
The original premise for creating her, was the question: would anyone roll anything other than DKs in wrath since it took too long to level a toon otherwise? The answer is YES, several guildies have rolled new classes, and a couple of them even switched from their old main to this new one, and is raiding Ulduar with us. For me however it just wasn't meant to be. At least not in this go. I had put too many expectations on this little gnomes shoulders.
I did however actuelly enjoy playing warlock. Although they are far from as easy to solo with as DK's, druids or even Disc priests.
Maybe its my play method, maybe its a matter of learning the tricks, maybe it will get better past level 25+ I dunno, but it was fun. And I also know that monday morning, I was looking at races for another Lock, only this time its going to be different... This time.